The BRO Code for Dads

Be there. Not perfect, there.

Kids do not remember the speech. They remember that you were in the bleachers.

Teach them to shake hands and look people in the eye.

Let them see you apologize.

Especially to their mother. Class is in session every day.

Read to them at night, and do the voices.

Bad voices count. Bad voices count double.

Love their mother where they can see it.

The best thing you will ever teach them about marriage, you will teach without saying a word.

Teach them to work.

Hand them a rake. They will complain. Twenty years later they will hand one to their own kid and hear your voice come out.

Say "I'm proud of you" before they earn it, and after.

Keep your promises, especially the ones about fishing.

A kid can forgive a lot. A canceled fishing trip goes on the permanent record.

Tell dad jokes. It is in the job description.

The groan is how you know it is working.

Let them do hard things.

Carry the bag. Finish the season. Write the thank-you note. Grit is homemade.

Put your phone in a drawer when you walk in the door.

The first ten minutes home set the weather for the whole evening.

Teach them to change a tire before they need to.

The side of a highway at night is a terrible classroom.

Get one-on-one time with each kid.

Breakfast, a drive, a walk. Kids tell the truth sideways, usually in a truck.

Show them how to lose well.

Shake hands, say good game, and schedule the sulking for never.

Don't let a screen raise your kids.

It will do it if you let it, and it has terrible values.

Don't yell what you could say.

If you are loud all the time, they stop hearing the volume that matters.

Don't try to be their buddy first.

Be their dad now. You get the friendship later, and it is better.

Don't tease them in front of their friends.

Tease at home. Protect in public.

Don't miss the small moments waiting for the big ones.

The blanket fort counts. So does the burned pancake.

Don't make "ask your mother" a policy.

Sometimes. Not as a lifestyle.

Don't make them earn your love.

Make them earn the car keys. That is different.

Don't fix everything for them.

Sometimes hand them the wrench and just point.

Don't coach from the stands.

They have a coach. They need a fan.

Don't forget they're watching how you treat the waiter.

They are taking notes. You are writing the textbook.

Don't come home and disappear into the couch.

Five minutes wrestling on the floor beats five hours in the same room.

Don't compare them to their siblings.

Every kid is a different lock. Stop trying the same key.

Don't let them see you quit on your marriage, your work or your word.