The toilet's running. Go fix it before anyone asks.

Quick answer: Most toilet problems are one of three things. A worn flapper, a clog, or a loose part. You can fix all three without a plumber. Turn the water off first, and know when to hand it to your dad.

The sound you've been ignoring

You know the one. The toilet runs for ten seconds after somebody flushes, then hisses on and off at 2 a.m. Everyone in the house has heard it. Everyone's assuming someone else will deal with it.

Be the someone else.

Start with a test. Pull the lid off the tank and set it on a folded towel on the floor, because the porcelain cracks if you drop it. Put a few drops of food coloring in the tank water and don't flush. Wait fifteen or twenty minutes.

If color shows up in the bowl, water is leaking past the flapper. That's the rubber piece at the bottom of the tank that lifts when you flush and drops back to seal the hole. Over the years it warps, gets slimy, or collects grit. When it stops sealing, the tank keeps refilling to replace what leaks out.

Fixing the flapper

Before you buy anything, try the free fix. Reach in and rub the flapper and the ring it sits on with a rag or the rough side of a sponge. Grit on that ring is enough to keep a seal from forming. Run the dye test again.

Still leaking? Replace it.

1. Turn the shutoff valve behind the toilet clockwise until it stops. That's the small oval knob on the wall or floor.
2. Flush once to empty the tank.
3. Unhook the flapper from the two small pegs on the overflow tube and unclip the chain from the flush lever.
4. Take a photo of the setup, then take the old flapper to the hardware store and match it. Sizes differ. Most are two or three inches, and a few are made for specific brands. Matching the old one saves a second trip.
5. Hook the new one on, attach the chain, and turn the water back on slowly.

Check the chain before you close the lid. You want about a half inch of slack. Too tight and the flapper never fully closes. Too loose and the lever won't lift it when you flush. Both give you the same running toilet you started with.

If it's still running, check the water level

Look at the tall tube in the middle of the tank, the overflow tube. The water should stop about an inch below the top of it. If it's spilling into the tube, the fill valve is letting in too much.

Most fill valves have a float, either a ball on an arm or a cup that slides up a rod. Lower the float a little. Some have a screw on top, some have a clip you squeeze. Flush, watch where the water stops, and adjust again if you need to. It takes two or three tries and it's not a sign you're doing it wrong.

The clog

This one's less fun, and it's also the one where a calm head beats everything.

Don't flush again if the bowl is already high. Lift the tank lid and push the flapper down by hand. That stops the tank from sending more water into a full bowl. Then get the right tool.

You want a flange plunger, the kind with a soft rubber flap folded inside the cup. The flat, cup-only version is for sinks and does a poor job on a toilet. If your house only has the wrong kind, a flange plunger is a cheap and worthwhile purchase.

• Lay down old towels. Put on rubber gloves and clothes you don't care about.
• The cup needs to be covered with water. If the bowl is low, add some from a bucket.
• Seat the plunger so the flap goes into the drain hole and the rubber seals against the porcelain.
• Push down gently once to push the air out, then pull up hard. The pull does most of the work.
• Keep a steady rhythm for ten or fifteen strokes, then see if the water drains.

Plenty of clogs clear on the second or third round. Give it that before deciding it's a big deal.

Skip the chemical drain cleaners. They rarely work well in a toilet, and if the plunger has to come out afterward, you're splashing that stuff around. If the plunger fails, a closet auger, a short toilet-sized snake, is the next step. Ask your dad before you use one, because it can scratch the porcelain if you're careless.

When it's over, rinse the plunger with hot water in the tub, wipe the floor, wash your hands properly, and put the plunger back where it lives.

Two small fixes that make you look like a pro

A loose flush handle. The nut on the inside of the tank usually has a reverse thread. Turn it counterclockwise to tighten, which feels wrong, so go easy and don't force it.

A wobbly seat. Look at the two bolts at the back where the seat attaches. Tighten them with a screwdriver. Done in a minute.

Know when to stop

Some jobs belong to your dad or a plumber. Tell him right away if:

• Water is leaking from the base of the toilet onto the floor.
• Water is coming up in the tub or shower when you flush.
• Something cracked.
• The shutoff valve won't turn or drips when you touch it.
• You've done everything above and it's still wrong.

Saying "I tried these things, and this is what I'm seeing" is a good sentence for a man to have ready. It's much better than "I broke it."

Leave the bathroom better than you found it

Once it's fixed, finish the job. Wipe down the tank lid, the floor and the seat. Put the old flapper in the trash. Put your tools back where they belong, and if you used a bucket, empty and rinse it. If you bought parts with your own money, that's your call. If you used Dad's money, give him the receipt and the change.

This is the same habit behind being reliable at fifteen instead of thirty. It's also what building reliability in the house you already live in looks like in practice. Nobody hands you a trophy for a flapper. But the next time something breaks, your dad won't wonder whether to ask you.

He'll notice. He won't make a speech about it. He'll just stop checking.