Our mission
The people in front of you are the point
The average adult picks up a phone well over a hundred times a day. Most of those pickups are not decisions; they are reflexes. Meanwhile the people who will be at your funeral are in the next room, and they are getting the leftover minutes.
Nobody on their deathbed wishes they had scrolled more. They wish they had called their father, visited their grandmother, kept up with the friend from school, and sat at the table a little longer. This page is a plan for doing exactly that, starting today.
Thirty days
The 30-day Phone Down challenge
One thing a day. Tick them off as you go; it remembers on this device, and prints for the fridge.
The 30-day Phone Down challenge
Your ticks are saved in this browser only. Nobody else can see them.
The easiest win
Phone-free dinners
- A basket by the door. Every phone goes in before the food comes out, and the adults go first.
- One question on the table: the best and worst part of the day, or “what made you laugh this week?”.
- Eat slowly. The conversation happens after the plates are empty, if you stay.
- Grab the phone, do the dishes. House rule.
- Eating alone? Call someone and eat “together” on speaker. It counts.
One day a week
The weekly digital rest day
People have kept one day a week apart for rest for thousands of years, and they were onto something. Pick a day (Sunday works for most families) and put the phone in a drawer for all of it, or as much as you can.
- Tell the people who need you how to reach you: a call still comes through.
- Plan the day the night before: a walk, a meal with people, a long nap, a book, a project.
- Keep the TV off until evening, and then watch one thing together.
- Expect the first two weeks to feel twitchy. By week four, it will be the best day of your week.
Before it is too late
Call your parents. Visit your grandparents. Write the letter.
Call your parents
Visit your grandparents
Write a letter
Date your spouse
The first message is the hard part
Reconnect with an old friend
Most friendships do not end. They drift, and both people assume the other one moved on. They almost never did. Pick one name that came to mind as you read that, and use one of these.
It has been years
Hey [name], it’s [you]. I was thinking about [a specific memory] today and realized it has been way too long. No agenda, I just miss talking to you. Any chance you’re free for a call this week?
We drifted after a falling-out
Hey [name]. I’ve thought about how things ended between us, and I’m sorry for my part in it. I’d really like to catch up if you’re open to it. No pressure either way.
They are going through something
Hey [name], I heard about [the hard thing]. I’m not going to pretend I know the right words, but I’m thinking about you. Can I bring dinner by this week, or just call?
Then what
- Suggest a specific time. “This Thursday at 7?” beats “we should catch up sometime”.
- Call, do not text, if you can. Voices do what text cannot.
- Before you hang up, set the next one.
Your street, your town
Be a good neighbor, volunteer, join something
- Learn five neighbors’ names this month. Write them down. Wave every time.
- Host a driveway cookout. Folding table, hot dogs, a sign that says “Come say hi”.
- Help without being asked. Shovel the widow’s walk. Bring the elderly man’s bins in. Mow the new mom’s lawn.
- Volunteer monthly. A food bank, a youth sports team, a nursing home, a fire department auxiliary. Same slot every month.
- Join a local group that meets in person: a league, a club, a class, a crew. BRO Circle can help you find men and women near you who do what you do.
The oldest cure there is
Get outside
- A walk after dinner, every night you can. Bring someone.
- A Saturday morning outdoors with the phone in the glovebox.
- Learn one outdoor skill this season: fishing, a fire, a knot, a tree.
- Sit on the porch and watch the street. It is better than you remember.
Faith