The Ugliest Notebook You Own Makes the Best Prayer Journal

Quick answer: Use a cheap notebook, write the date, and talk to God in five honest minutes a day. Leave a column for answers, because in three months that column will change how you pray.

Every October somebody gets a gorgeous prayer journal. Linen cover. Gold edges. Little prompts on every page in a font that looks like a wedding invitation.

She writes three beautiful entries. Then she has a bad day, and what she wants to say to God is messy and a little angry. It doesn't feel right to put that on a page that pretty. So she waits for a better day.

The journal ends up on a shelf, and she feels guilty every time she sees it.

If that's you, nothing is wrong with your faith. The notebook was the problem.

Why the pretty journal quits on you

A prayer journal isn't a craft project, and it isn't something to post. It's a record of a conversation between you and God. Conversations get messy. They have crossed-out words and run-on sentences and days when all you've got is "help."

When the notebook looks like a gift, part of your brain starts writing for an audience. You pick nicer words. You skip the thing you're actually worried about because it looks ugly in cursive. Before long you're performing for a book, and God already knows what you really meant.

Get a composition notebook or a spiral from the school supply aisle. Write your name inside the cover and nothing else. You want it to be the kind of notebook you could spill orange juice on and keep writing.

The five-minute page

You don't need a template. Some structure helps on the days your head is empty, though. Try this and change it whenever you like.

• The date. Top of the page, every time. This matters more than anything else on the list, and you'll see why below.
• One honest sentence. How you actually are. "Tired and nervous about the chem test" counts. So does "I don't feel like praying right now."
• Something you're thankful for. Be specific. "My friends" is fine. "Maddie saving me a seat at lunch when I was late" is better, because in six months you'll remember it.
• What you're asking for. For you, for someone else, for something you can't fix. Write names.
• Space to listen. Leave a few lines empty. Read a verse, sit quietly for a minute, and write down anything that comes to mind. Some days nothing will, and that's normal.

That's it. Five minutes if you keep it short, twenty if you have a lot to say.

Philippians 4:6 is close to a recipe for this page: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (NIV). Every situation includes the chem test.

Write it the way you'd text your best friend

Nobody texts their best friend "I humbly come before thee this Tuesday." You'd sound like you'd been kidnapped.

God doesn't need fancy language from you. He wants you. Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us" (ESV). You can't pour out your heart while you're worrying about whether it sounds holy.

If you're wondering how honest you're allowed to be, look at David. Psalm 13 opens with "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" (ESV). He wrote that down, and it ended up in the Bible. You're allowed to write "I don't understand why this is happening." If you want a week of prayers that don't sugarcoat anything, spend seven days in the Psalms with your notebook open next to you.

And you don't have to earn your way into the conversation. Because of what Jesus did on the cross, you can come straight in. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16, ESV). You can come with confidence even on your worst day.

The column that changes everything

This is the part most people skip.

Draw a line down the right side of every page, about two inches in. Leave that strip blank. Whenever you notice that something you prayed for has been answered, go back, find the date, and write the answer in the column along with the day it happened.

Your grandma's surgery went fine. Write it in. The friend who stopped talking to you apologized. Write it in. You were terrified of the youth retreat and it turned out to be the best weekend of your year. Write that in too.

Three months from now, flip back through. Your memory is terrible at this, and so is everyone else's. You'll forget most of what you were anxious about in September. The notebook won't. You'll see page after page of God showing up, sometimes quietly, sometimes in ways you didn't recognize until you saw it written down.

In 1 Samuel 7:12, after God helped Israel, Samuel set up a stone "and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, 'Till now the LORD has helped us'" (ESV). Your answer column works the same way. It's a stone you can pick up and hold on the days you forget.

Be honest here as well. Some answers will be "no," and some will be "not yet." Write those down too. "Didn't make the team. Still hurts. Found out Coach needs a manager, so maybe?" is a real answer. Some prayers will sit blank for a long time, and that's okay. A blank space doesn't mean God has forgotten you. It means the page isn't finished yet.

You'll miss days, so plan for it

You'll skip a week, probably during finals or over a holiday when your routine falls apart. Then the voice starts: You never stick with anything. Why bother?

Ignore it. Don't go back and fill in the missing days, and don't write a page of apologies. Just write today's date and start again.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV). His mercies are new every morning, including the morning after you skipped nine days.

A few things make the habit easier:

• Tie it to something you already do. Keep the notebook on your pillow so you pick it up before bed, or on the kitchen counter next to your cereal.
• Keep a pen clipped to the cover. If you have to go looking for a pen, you won't write.
• Put your phone in a different room. Five minutes with God goes badly when a notification pops up every forty seconds.
• Lower the bar on hard days. One line with the date still counts.

What to do when a page gets heavy

Your journal is between you and God, and it's fine for it to stay private. But sometimes you'll write something down and realize it's too big to carry alone. Someone might be hurting you or pressuring you. Maybe you're sad for weeks and can't shake it, or you've had thoughts about not wanting to be here.

If you write that page, show it to someone that same day. Your mom or dad, your youth pastor, your small group leader, or your school counselor. You won't be in trouble for being honest. Showing a trusted adult is part of praying about it, and it takes courage.

If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It's free and open all day and night. Elijah once told God he'd had enough, and God sent him food, sleep, and company. You're not the only one who's felt that low.

Start tonight

Find the ugliest notebook in your house. Maybe it's half full of old algebra notes. Tear those out, or don't.

Write tonight's date at the top, draw a line down the right side, and write one true sentence to God.

A year from now, some future version of you is going to flip back to that page. She'll read the answer column and see the ways God showed up, which you can't see yet.