Your first flat tire should happen in the driveway

Quick answer: Get fully off the road, loosen the lug nuts before you jack the car up, and never put any part of your body under a car that's sitting on a jack. Then do the whole thing once in your driveway this weekend, with a parent, so the side of the road isn't your first try.

My dad made me change a tire in our driveway the week I got my permit. It was July. It was 94 degrees. I told him I'd just call him if it ever happened.

He said, "Sure. And while you wait, you'll know exactly what I'm about to do."

Two years later I got a flat on a county road at dusk. I called him first, like he'd asked. Then I had the spare on before he got there. He was right, and I've had to say so out loud at several holidays since.

What the box says

Remove flat tire. Install spare. Resume your day in fifteen minutes, smiling, hair perfect.

What you will actually need

• The spare tire. Look in the trunk under the floor panel, or under the back of the vehicle on a lot of SUVs and trucks.
• The jack and lug wrench that came with the car. They're usually tucked in the same spot or behind a side panel.
• The owner's manual. It shows exactly where the jack goes. Guessing isn't a plan.
• The wheel lock key. If your car has one fancy lug nut on each wheel, this little adapter is the only thing that removes it. This is the item people discover is sitting in a cup holder in the other car, forty miles away.
• A flashlight, because flats prefer to happen after dark.
• Work gloves and something to kneel on, like an old towel or floor mat.
• Wheel wedges, or a couple of solid rocks or a brick.
• A charged phone.

One more thing: some newer cars don't have a spare at all. They come with a sealant and inflator kit instead. Find out which one your car has now, not on the shoulder.

The steps

1. Get somewhere safe. Signal, slow down, and pull as far off the road as you can onto flat, solid ground. A parking lot or side street beats a busy shoulder every time, even if it means driving slowly on the flat for a short distance. Turn on your hazard lights.

1. Call a parent or guardian and tell them where you are. Do this before anything else. You're not in trouble. A flat tire is a tire problem, not a you problem.

1. Lock the car in place. Put it in Park (or first gear if it's a manual), set the parking brake, and turn the engine off. Wedge the tire diagonally opposite the flat, front of it and behind it.

This is the step where you realize you've been calling it "the emergency brake" your whole life and have never once used it.

1. Get the spare, jack and wrench out and set them by the flat. If there's a hubcap covering the lug nuts, pry it off with the flat end of the wrench.

1. Loosen the lug nuts while the tire is still on the ground. Turn them counterclockwise about half a turn each. Don't take them off yet. If they're tight, put the wrench on so the handle points to the side and push down on it with your foot while holding the car for balance.

They will be tight. They were put on by a machine that has never met you and doesn't care about your feelings.

1. Place the jack at the jack point shown in your manual. That's usually a reinforced metal edge just behind the front wheel or in front of the back wheel. Wrong spot means a bent car or a jack that slips.

1. Raise the car until the flat tire is about an inch or two off the ground. The spare needs a little extra room because it's full of air and the flat isn't.

From this point on, nothing goes under the car. Not a hand, not a knee, not a foot. A jack is for lifting, not for holding up a car with you beneath it.

1. Remove the lug nuts the rest of the way and drop them inside the hubcap or your pocket. Not loose in the grass.

Lug nuts are attracted to storm drains. Physics hasn't explained this yet.

1. Pull the flat off. Grip it at the sides and pull straight toward you. It's heavier than it looks. Lay it flat on the ground so it can't roll away.

1. Lift the spare onto the wheel studs. Line up the holes, push it on, and thread every lug nut on by hand first so none of them go on crooked.

1. Snug the nuts with the wrench in a star pattern. That means crisscross, not around in a circle, so the wheel sits evenly.

1. Lower the car until the tire touches the ground, then tighten the nuts fully, star pattern again. Lower the car the rest of the way and remove the jack.

1. Put everything away. Flat tire, jack, wrench, hubcap, wedges if they're yours. Leave the spot cleaner than you found it.

This is where you find a fast food bag from 2021 under the trunk floor. Throw it out. You're a better person now.

1. Drive carefully to a tire shop. Most compact spares are rated for about 50 mph and a limited distance. Check the sticker on the spare or your manual for the exact numbers. Ask the shop to check the lug nut tightness.

Where it goes wrong

The lug nuts won't budge. Make sure you're turning counterclockwise. Get the wrench handle as close to horizontal as you can and use steady weight from your leg, not a jumping stomp. If they still won't move, stop and call for help. Some cars leave the shop with nuts that only an air tool can undo.

The spare is flat too. This is extremely common because nobody ever checks it. Check its pressure every time you check the other four. The correct number is on the spare itself or on the sticker inside the driver's door. If it happens anyway, call roadside help and stay put.

The jack sinks or tilts. Soft dirt, gravel and a sloped shoulder all do this. Lower the car right away. Move to firmer ground if you can, or put a flat board under the jack. If neither works, this is now a phone call, not a project.

When to call a pro

Call a parent, roadside assistance or a tow service if you're on a highway shoulder with traffic close by, if you're in the dark somewhere you don't feel safe, if the tire blew out and the wheel looks bent, or if anything on this list just isn't going right. Wait in the car with your seatbelt on and the hazards going if you're near traffic. If you have to get out, use the door away from traffic.

If someone you don't know stops to help, you're allowed to say thank you and stay in your locked car. Help is already on the way. If anyone makes you feel unsafe, call 911.

At the tire shop, a nail in the tread can often be patched. Damage to the sidewall can't, and that tire gets replaced. Rules about stopping on freeway shoulders and using warning triangles vary by state, so it's worth a two-minute read of your state's driver handbook.

The confidence you get from doing this once is real, and it's yours. More on that in Decide what you're worth before somebody else does.

So this weekend, ask your dad, your mom or your grandpa to stand in the driveway with you while you do the whole thing, start to finish. It takes maybe forty minutes. That's less than one evening of scrolling, and if you need help finding the time, How to get your hours back without deleting a single app has you covered.

They'll offer to just do it for you. Say no. Hand them the flashlight instead.