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I'm not asleep I'm watching it with my eyes closed

A dad asleep in a recliner in a cozy living room, mouth slightly open, but one eye cracked open suspiciously as a small child tiptoes toward the TV remote on the armrest. Caption: "I'm not asleep I'm watching it with my eyes closed"
I'm not asleep I'm watching it with my eyes closed
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  • In a grocery aisle a cheerful man waves while a contractor holding a basket answers with a tight, strained smile. Caption: "Invoice said due in thirty days Day ninety. He waved at me at the grocery store."
  • A man in a dress shirt and pajama pants gives a passionate presentation to his laptop while his dog watches. Caption: "Gave the best presentation of my career To myself. On mute. For eleven minutes."
  • A woman in rubber gloves holds a mysterious old food container from the back of an office fridge at arm's length. Caption: "Friday is the annual office fridge cleanout One container in the back has seniority."
  • A couple solemnly eats spaghetti with a ladle and salad tongs in front of a full, open dishwasher. Caption: "Each thought the other emptied the dishwasher Day three. We're eating spaghetti with a ladle."
  • A mother looks into her large tote bag containing several screwdrivers while her husband and son look on, amazed. Caption: "Kid said he needed a screwdriver Mom checked her purse. Asked which kind."
  • A girl browses an open refrigerator while her dad freezes in the hallway behind her, glaring in her direction. Caption: "Kid held the fridge open eleven seconds Dad felt it from the garage."
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I'm not asleep I'm watching it with my eyes closed · bro.com