Compatibility in Dating

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GuideMarcus Vale30 Sept 20266 min

The best first date costs twenty dollars and a good sidewalk

A candlelit table for two is a job interview with bread. Walk somewhere, do something small, and actually find out who she is.

Long Distance Only Works If Somebody's Moving

A relationship with 900 miles in it needs a date on the calendar and a name attached to the moving truck. Everything else is just a very expensive friendship.

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

How to end it without making her wonder what she did wrong

Do it in person, say it in the first minute, and don't leave the door cracked open because you feel bad.

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Build me a revision plan that I will actually stick to

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GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

Tell Her What You Owe Before You Buy The Ring

A one-page money disclosure, done at a kitchen table, months before you propose. What goes on the page and what to do when hers is worse than yours.

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6 min read

Dating Again After Your Spouse Died

The ring, the timeline, the photo on the mantel, and how to talk about your marriage on a first date without turning it into a eulogy.

Poll

Where does your phone charge overnight?

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

Everybody's Getting Married and You're Still at Table 14

Wedding season is brutal when you're the last single guy in the group. Here's how to use the wait instead of resenting it.

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20265 min

Say Yes to the Next Three Setups

The oldest matchmaking system in America still works, and it runs on friends who know you. Stop turning it down.

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GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20265 min

Where the marriage-minded women actually are after thirty

The pool didn't shrink when you turned thirty. It moved indoors, onto a schedule, and mostly into places you've been skipping.

Quiz

Does your wardrobe actually fit you?

Five questions, honestly answered, and a plan for the next fortnight.

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

Dating When You Hate Small Talk

Shyness isn't a character flaw to fix before you're allowed to pursue somebody. It's a wiring issue with practical workarounds.

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20265 min

If You Have an Excuse Ready, That's the Warning Sign

The problem was never the behavior. It's how smooth you've gotten at defending it to people who love you.

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GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

The ring is the easy part

Eight weeks of lead time, four conversations you can't skip, and how to spend the money without pretending you know what a clarity grade is.

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GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

Ask in person, name the day, and accept the answer

The whole thing takes about twenty seconds. Almost everything that goes wrong happens because a man stretched it into three weeks.

Poll

What was your first ever job?

GuideMarcus Vale23 Sept 20266 min

What her father is actually trying to find out

Leave your phone in the car, answer the money question straight, and stay behind to help with the dishes. The rest is easier than you think.

GuideMarcus Vale22 Sept 20266 min

Getting over somebody without pretending you're fine

Grief after a breakup isn't a character flaw. But how you carry it decides who you'll be when the next person shows up.

Coconut.com — Tell us when. We find where the sun is.

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BRO TakeJosh Halloran22 Sept 20266 min

Courtship isn't an old-fashioned word for slow

Courtship isn't a speed. It's a direction, declared out loud, in front of people who know you both.

Quiz

Is your money actually in order?

Six questions. No email required, no sales pitch at the end.

6 min

Have the hard conversations while they're still cheap

6 min

Ninety days on the app, then off it

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GuideMarcus Vale22 Sept 20266 min

How to tell when it's time to stop dating and choose

Most people who say they need more information already have enough. They need a decision, and the nerve to make it.

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6 min read

When Your Children Meet the Woman You're Dating

The introduction isn't a scheduling problem. It's a character problem, and getting it right starts months before anyone shakes hands.

Poll

How often do you see your closest friends?

Older articles

Compatibility in Dating

Latest news · Compatibility

The best first date costs twenty dollars and a good sidewalk

A standard costs you something. A preference doesn't.

Book the premarital counseling before the venue deposit

The Second Date Is Where You Start Paying Attention

The proposal is forty seconds. Plan the other four hours.

Introducing her to your people without making it an audition

Long Distance Only Works If Somebody's Moving

How to end it without making her wonder what she did wrong

Tell Her What You Owe Before You Buy The Ring

Dating Again After Your Spouse Died

Everybody's Getting Married and You're Still at Table 14

Say Yes to the Next Three Setups

Where the marriage-minded women actually are after thirty

Dating When You Hate Small Talk

If You Have an Excuse Ready, That's the Warning Sign

The ring is the easy part

Ask in person, name the day, and accept the answer

What her father is actually trying to find out

Getting over somebody without pretending you're fine

Courtship isn't an old-fashioned word for slow

Have the hard conversations while they're still cheap

Ninety days on the app, then off it

How to tell when it's time to stop dating and choose

When Your Children Meet the Woman You're Dating