Teach your daughter laundry so she never has to guess

Quick answer: Teach it in one real load of her own clothes, with her hands on every step and yours in your pockets. Start by teaching her to read the care label, because it settles most arguments before they start.

A girl who can do laundry at twelve isn't doing a chore. She's learning to take care of what she owns, and that habit follows her into a dorm room, an apartment and a house of her own. Skip it and you're sending a nineteen-year-old to college with a pink-tinted wardrobe and a shrunken favorite sweater.

What she'll be able to do

By the end of one Saturday morning, she should be able to:

• Sort a pile by care label, color and fabric weight.
• Pick the right water temperature and the right amount of detergent.
• Run a washer and dryer without overloading either.
• Fold and store everything so it comes out wearable.
• Spot the safety hazards in a laundry room.

Plan on two to three hours the first time, and a quarter of that the second time.

Safety first

Go over these before she touches a machine. Say them out loud and have her repeat them back.

• Never mix bleach with ammonia or any other cleaner. The combination makes a toxic gas. One product at a time, and the room stays ventilated.
• Clean the lint trap before every dryer load. Lint burns, and a clogged dryer is one of the quieter ways a house catches fire. The vent behind the machine needs cleaning too. Put it on the home maintenance checklist and keep it there.
• Never dry anything soaked in cooking oil, gasoline, paint thinner or similar. A shop rag from the garage doesn't go in with the towels. Wash it separately and hang it to dry outside, or ask Dad first.
• Keep detergent pods and bleach up high if little ones live in your house. Pods look like candy to a toddler.
• Don't run the dryer when nobody's home or after everyone's asleep. Dry it in the daytime, while somebody's around to smell trouble.

The lesson, step by step

1. Read the label first

Every garment has a tag, usually inside the side seam or at the back of the neck. It tells you the water temperature, whether it can take a dryer and whether it can take bleach. Have her find the tag on five items and tell you what each one says.

Then explain the symbols. A tub with a number is the maximum wash temperature. A tub with a hand means hand-wash. A square with a circle in it is the dryer, and the dots inside are the heat setting. An X through anything means don't.

The tag is the instruction manual. Most laundry disasters are somebody who never read it.

2. Sort into piles

Make three piles on the floor. Don't stop at light and dark.

• Whites and very light colors.
• Darks and brights.
• Delicates and special care: sweaters, bras, anything with lace or a tag that says gentle.

Then split further by weight. Towels and jeans are heavy and rough. They shed lint and beat up thinner fabrics, so they get their own load. T-shirts and leggings go together. Sheets go alone, because they twist into a rope with everything else.

Show her the red sock lesson in plain terms. One new red item washed with whites gives you a pink load. New dark items bleed, so wash them alone the first two or three times.

3. Empty the pockets and fasten up

Check every pocket. A tissue in a jeans pocket turns a whole load into confetti, and a lip balm in the dryer leaves grease spots that don't come out.

Zip zippers and hook bra clasps. Put bras and delicate items in a mesh bag. Turn jeans, dark shirts and anything with a print inside out.

4. Pick the settings

Cold water is the default for most things. It saves energy, protects color and stops shrinking. Warm is for moderately dirty everyday clothes. Hot is for white cotton, towels and sheets, and anything that needs a real sanitizing, like what's been worn during a stomach bug.

Pick the cycle that matches the pile. Normal is for sturdy items, and delicate is for the mesh bag.

5. Load it right

Fill the drum about three-quarters full. Clothes need room to move, because that's how they get clean. If she can't slide a hand flat across the top of the pile, take something out.

6. Measure the detergent

More soap does not mean cleaner clothes. Too much leaves residue that stiffens fabric and holds odors. Use the line on the cap, and use less if the load is small. If your machine is the high-efficiency kind, buy the matching detergent. It'll say HE on the label.

Skip fabric softener on towels. It coats the fibers and they stop absorbing water.

7. Move it to the dryer promptly

Wet clothes left in the drum turn sour in a few hours. If she forgets, rewash them. Don't hope.

Clean the lint trap. Choose the heat to match the label: high for towels and jeans, medium for normal items, low for anything delicate. Pull anything that says air dry and hang it on a rack.

Dry heat shrinks cotton, and it's the usual culprit when a shirt comes out two sizes smaller. When in doubt, use lower heat and a longer time.

8. Fold while it's warm

Warm clothes fold flat. Cold ones that sat in the basket for two days come out wrinkled.

• T-shirts: Lay flat, fold each side to the middle, then fold up from the bottom. Practice until she can do one in under ten seconds.
• Towels: In thirds the long way, then in thirds again.
• Fitted sheets: Tuck the corners into each other, then fold into a neat rectangle. Nobody gets it right the first time. Tell her that.
• Socks: Pair them. Don't ball them.

9. Put it away

Everything has to be bone dry before it goes in a drawer, because damp clothes mildew. Fold knits and sweaters, since hangers stretch the shoulders. Hang dress shirts, blouses and anything that wrinkles. Put the heaviest items at the bottom of the drawer and the everyday ones on top.

10. Leave the room better than she found it

Wipe the dust off the machine, empty the lint, and take the dryer sheets and stray socks out of the drum. A clean laundry room is a courtesy to the next person. If she finishes and the machine's in better shape than when she started, she's learned the old rule for good.

A word about fairness

She does her own laundry. Doing the whole family's every week isn't a lesson. It's a job she never applied for. Teach her to do a load for a sibling or help a grandparent as a favor, and teach her that the favor is hers to give, not owed. That goes for her whole life: serve gladly, and don't get walked on.

Printable checklist

• ☐ Read the care label on every item
• ☐ Sorted by color, fabric weight and care
• ☐ Checked pockets and zipped zippers
• ☐ Delicates in a mesh bag
• ☐ Chose the right water temperature
• ☐ Loaded the drum three-quarters full
• ☐ Measured the detergent to the line
• ☐ Never mixed bleach with another cleaner
• ☐ Cleaned the lint trap before drying
• ☐ Dried on the heat the label allows
• ☐ Folded while still warm
• ☐ Everything dry before it's put away
• ☐ Wiped the machines and emptied the lint

Self-check

Ask her these, and don't help.

1. What's the first thing you do with a new shirt before washing it? (Read the care label. Wash dark new items alone at first.)
2. Why not use extra detergent? (It leaves residue and doesn't clean better.)
3. What goes wrong if the dryer's lint trap is full? (Clothes dry poorly and it's a fire risk.)
4. Which items never get dried with the regular load? (Anything soaked in oil, gasoline or solvent, or anything labeled air dry.)
5. What do you do with a sweater? (Wash it gentle, dry it flat or low, and fold it. Don't hang it.)

If she gets four out of five, she's ready to run a load alone. If she doesn't, run one more load together and ask again next week.

The first time she saves a shirt you would've ruined, tell her. She'll remember it longer than the lesson.