What to wear to a wedding, a funeral and an interview

Buy one suit. Navy, mid-weight wool, plain weave, two buttons, notch lapels, no pattern you'd notice across a room. That single garment handles a wedding, a funeral and an interview, and the only things that change between them are the shirt, the tie and the shoes.

Charcoal is the equally good second answer. Black is the worst of the three, because a black suit in daylight reads as either mortuary or catering staff, and you'll wear it four times a decade.

Get it in wool rather than polyester blend if you can, because wool breathes, recovers from creasing overnight on a hanger, and takes a press. If the budget only stretches to a blend, spend the difference on the tailor instead. A cheap suit that fits beats an expensive one that doesn't, every single time, and nobody at the wedding is checking your label.

The four alterations that actually matter

Almost nothing off the rack fits correctly out of the bag. Four fixes get you most of the way, and none of them is expensive.

• Sleeve length. The jacket cuff should sit where your wrist meets your hand, showing roughly half an inch of shirt cuff. Most men wear sleeves an inch too long and look borrowed.
• Trouser hem. One soft break, or none. The hem should touch the top of your shoe and stop. Puddled fabric around the ankle is the fastest way to look sloppy in an otherwise good suit.
• Trouser waist. It should sit at your natural waist and stay there without a belt doing structural work.
• Jacket waist taper. Take in the side seams so the jacket follows your shape instead of hanging like a sack.

What you can't fix cheaply is the shoulder. The seam should end where your shoulder ends, no overhang, no divot. If the shoulders are wrong, it's the wrong jacket. Put it back and try another size or another brand.

Two more checks before you buy. Button the jacket and look for an X-shaped pull across the button. If it's there, go up a size. Then look at the back of the collar. It should lie flat against your shirt collar, not gap or bunch.

Shirt, shoes, tie

Shirt: white poplin, semi-spread collar, button cuffs. You should be able to slide two fingers inside the buttoned collar comfortably. A collar that's a half-size too small is visible in every photo, and it's the reason you'll spend the evening tugging at your throat. Light blue is your second shirt.

Shoes: black cap-toe oxfords. They're the most formal thing you'll own short of patent, and they work at all three events. Dark brown derbies are the useful second pair, fine for weddings and most interviews, less ideal for a funeral. Polish them the night before, not in the car.

Socks: dark, over-the-calf. Mid-calf socks fall down and show skin when you cross your legs.

Tie: silk, solid or a quiet pattern, roughly the same width as your lapel. A navy grenadine does everything. Knit ties are great and slightly less formal.

Belt matches the shoes. Black shoes, black belt. If you're wearing braces, no belt.

The wedding

Read the invitation and take it literally. Black tie means a tuxedo, and renting one is completely normal. Black tie optional means a dark suit is fine. Cocktail, semi-formal and lounge suit all mean the navy suit. Come as you are still means pressed trousers and a collared shirt.

For a summer garden wedding, lighter and softer is right: tan or light grey, an unlined jacket, a shirt you can stand to wear in the sun. For anything in a church in winter, keep it dark.

Don't wear white, cream or ivory. Don't wear the color the wedding party has been put in unless you're in it. Don't wear a boutonniere unless one is handed to you.

For women, the same rules run: the invitation governs, and white and ivory belong to the bride. Black at a daytime wedding used to raise eyebrows and mostly doesn't anymore, but if the family is traditional, ask. The practical wins are a dress you can sit, dance and eat in, a wrap for when the sun goes down, and shoes you've walked in before. Grass and a stiletto heel are enemies. A block heel or a wedge keeps you upright on a lawn and off the sidelines.

Everyone should bring a small pack of safety pins. Somebody will need one.

The funeral

The goal is to be invisible. Dark suit, white shirt, plain dark tie, dark shoes. Nothing shiny, nothing patterned enough to notice from twenty feet, no pocket square doing tricks. A dark overcoat if it's cold. If there's a graveside service, wear shoes you're willing to get muddy, because the ground will be soft and you'll be standing on it.

Follow the family's instructions over any rulebook. Plenty of traditions do things differently — some faiths and some families ask for white, or for a specific color the person loved, or for head covering. If the notice says something, do that. If you're unsure, ask whoever's organizing. Nobody has ever been offended by a quiet question asked in advance.

If you don't own a suit, don't let that stop you attending. Dark trousers, a collared shirt and a plain dark sweater is a respectful outfit and always has been. Children don't need suits either. Clean, dark, tidy.

Arrive early. Turn the phone all the way off, not to vibrate.

The interview

Dress one step above what people in that job wear on an ordinary Tuesday. That's the whole rule, and applying it requires you to find out what an ordinary Tuesday looks like there.

Look at the company's own website photos and their social accounts. If you know someone inside, just ask them. If the job is client-facing, in law, finance, sales or property, wear the suit. If it's a startup or a design studio, dark trousers, a pressed shirt or fine-gauge knit, and clean leather shoes will land better than a suit that makes everyone uncomfortable.

For a trade or a site role, turn up in clean work clothes and your own boots, and don't wear a shirt with a competitor's logo on it.

For video, wear the real trousers. You will stand up at some point. Solid mid-tone colors film better than tight patterns, which shimmer on camera. Check what's behind you before you check yourself.

Then the part people skip: put the entire outfit on two days early. Sit in it. Walk in it. Reach for something on a high shelf. That's when you find out the trousers are tight when seated or the shirt gapes at the third button. Iron the night before. If you want a haircut, get it a week out.

The small failures that undo good clothes

New suits ship with a loose X stitch holding the back vent shut and often a label stitched to the outer sleeve. Both come off before you wear it. Pockets are usually sewn closed too — open them with a seam ripper or leave them, but don't load them up with keys and a phone either way.

Never button the bottom button of a two-button jacket. Unbutton the jacket entirely when you sit down.

Break new shoes in around the house for a few evenings first, with the socks you'll actually wear. Hang the suit in the bathroom while you shower to steam out creases. Keep a lint roller in the car.

Do all of that and you'll never think about your clothes again once you leave the house. Which is the point. On the day, nobody should remember your outfit. They should remember that you showed up early, shook hands properly, and stayed to help stack the chairs.