The moon doesn't follow the car, and other things I looked up later

We were coming home from mini golf when the seven-year-old leaned forward in her booster seat and asked why the moon was following us.

"Because it likes you," I said.

She accepted this. Her brother, who is ten and has started fact-checking me, didn't. "That's not real," he said. "Why is it actually doing that?"

And there it was again. The look. The one that says they believe I've read every encyclopedia ever printed and kept the important parts. I haven't. But I've started keeping a list of what they ask, and I go home and find out. These are the ones so far.

1. Why does the moon follow the car?

They think I know: The orbital mechanics of the solar system.

What I actually know: That it likes her. I stand by this emotionally.

What you actually need to know: The moon is about 239,000 miles away. Fence posts whip past because they're close, so every foot you drive changes the angle you see them from. The moon is so far off that your few miles don't change the angle at all. It stays put in the window, so it looks like it's keeping up. Tell them to watch a tree and the moon at the same time. They'll get it in ten seconds.

2. Why is the sky blue?

They think I know: Physics.

What I actually know: "It reflects the ocean." Which I said with total confidence for about fifty years.

What you actually need to know: Sunlight carries every color. As it passes through the air, the tiny molecules scatter the short blue wavelengths far more than the long red ones, so blue light bounces at you from every direction in the sky. At sunset the light travels through much more air to reach you. Most of the blue gets scattered away before it arrives, and the reds and oranges are what's left.

3. Can you change a tire?

They think I know: Everything about cars.

What I actually know: Where the roadside assistance card is. My better half is the one who taught our daughter, in the driveway, in about twelve minutes.

What you actually need to know:

1. Pull onto flat, solid ground. Hazards on, parking brake on, car in Park.
2. Wedge something against the tire diagonally opposite the flat.
3. Loosen each lug nut about half a turn while the wheel is still on the ground.
4. Put the jack only at the lift point shown in your owner's manual. Raise it until the tire just clears.
5. Take off the nuts, swap the wheel, and hand-tighten the nuts in a star pattern.
6. Lower the car, then tighten fully, star pattern again.

Many small spare tires carry a speed limit on the sidewall, often 50 mph. Read it and obey it. Have the nuts checked at a shop afterward.

Never put any part of your body under a car held up only by a jack. Jacks slip. That rule doesn't bend.

4. How do you write a check?

They think I know: Banking.

What I actually know: The checkbook is in the kitchen drawer with the takeout menus and a battery of unknown charge.

What you actually need to know: Use a pen. Date at the top. Name of the person or company on the "Pay to the order of" line. The amount in numbers in the box, starting right up against the left edge so nobody can add a digit. The same amount in words on the long line, like "Forty-two and 00/100," then draw a line through the leftover space. Memo if you want it. Sign last. Never sign a blank one.

And while the checkbook's out, ask yourself whether anyone could pay your bills if you couldn't for a month. If the answer's no, your will and power of attorney can be done in one afternoon.

5. Would you know if it was really me on the phone?

They think I know: Their voice anywhere.

What I actually know: I once had a full conversation with a wrong number because the caller also said "Hey, it's me."

What you actually need to know: The "grandparent scam" is a call from someone claiming to be your grandchild in trouble: an arrest, a crash, a hospital, and please don't tell Mom. Scammers can now copy a voice from a short clip online, so the voice alone proves nothing. Agree on a family code word tonight, something silly the grandkids will remember. If a call like this comes, hang up and call your grandchild or their parent on the number you already have. Nobody legitimate wants bail paid in gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency or cash handed to a courier.

If you're unsure, call the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360, members and non-members alike. Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or 1-877-382-4357.

6. How do you tie a tie?

They think I know: How to dress for a wedding.

What I actually know: My father could do it in the dark. I could do it in the mirror, backward, on the third try.

What you actually need to know: The four-in-hand is the easy one. Drape it with the wide end on your right, hanging a good bit lower. Cross the wide end over the narrow end, wrap it behind, and cross it over the front again. Bring it up through the neck loop from underneath, then down through the front knot you just made. Slide it snug. The tip should land at the belt buckle.

7. Is the turkey done?

They think I know: Cooking, because of that one Thanksgiving.

What I actually know: That Grandma's rule was "when the smoke alarm goes off," and she was joking, and I wasn't listening.

What you actually need to know: Use an instant-read thermometer. Put it in the thickest part of the thigh and the breast, not touching bone. It's safe at 165°F. Clear juices and a wiggly leg aren't reliable signs. Let it rest about twenty minutes before carving so it doesn't dry out.

8. How do you put out a campfire?

They think I know: The outdoors, in general, as a concept.

What I actually know: Kick some dirt on it and look rugged.

What you actually need to know: Drown it, stir it, feel it. Pour water until the hissing stops. Stir the ashes with a stick or shovel and drown it again. Hold the back of your hand near the coals, not on them. If you feel heat, it isn't out. Dirt alone can bury coals that stay hot for hours. Then leave the site cleaner than you found it, and let the grandkids find the last bottle cap.

9. Can you get down on the floor and play?

They think I know: How to build a twelve-foot block city.

What I actually know: Getting down is easy. Getting up is a production involving the coffee table, a grunt and a running commentary.

What you actually need to know: Getting down to the floor and back up is a skill worth keeping, and you keep it by doing it. Practice beside a sturdy chair: kneel, bring one foot forward, and push up with your hands on the seat. A few times a day adds up. If it hurts, ask your doctor or a physical therapist. For more, read what actually keeps knees and hips going past seventy.

The one I am glad they asked

My granddaughter held up an old photo last month. A woman in a long coat, a man squinting, a car I can't name. "Who's that?"

I didn't know. That bothered me more than anything else on this list.

So we're finding out together. Pull out the shoebox and let the grandkids write names on the backs in soft pencil, since ink can bleed through. Use the voice recorder on a phone to interview the oldest relative you've got. Three questions are enough to start: Where did you grow up? What was your first job? What did the house smell like on holidays?

Then look up your family in the 1950 census. It's free at 1950census.archives.gov, and you can search by name and place. My grandson found my parents' household, address and all, and read it out loud like he'd cracked a safe.

He thinks I knew where to look. I'm letting him.

This is general information, not medical, financial or legal advice; ask your doctor or an elder-law attorney about your own situation.