I told a frozen grandson the whole carburetor story

Grandpa was eleven minutes into the story of the 1968 carburetor. It's a good story. It has a float bowl, a stuck needle valve and a gas station attendant named Lyle. His grandson Theo, age four, was listening with his mouth wide open.

Grandma leaned in from the kitchen doorway, dish towel over her shoulder.

"He's been frozen since the float bowl, dear."

She was right. Theo had stopped mid-yawn somewhere around minute three, and the man who once rebuilt a tractor transmission by lantern light had spent eight minutes narrating to a still photograph. When the picture finally came back, Theo was gone and the screen showed the ceiling fan. Somebody had gone to get a snack.

What it says it does

A video call is a phone call with pictures. Your phone, tablet or computer uses its camera and microphone, sends both over the internet, and shows you the other person live.

The common apps are free to use. FaceTime comes on iPhones, iPads and Macs, and can start a call with other Apple users. Anyone without an Apple device can still join a FaceTime call through a link opened in a web browser. WhatsApp, Google Meet and Zoom work across iPhones, Android phones and computers. Some families use Facebook Messenger.

There are also "smart displays," which are small screens with a built-in camera that sit on a counter and are made mostly for calls.

Frozen faces nearly always come down to one thing. The internet connection, on your end or theirs, can't keep up with the moving picture. The app holds the last good frame until it catches up.

What Grandpa thinks it does

Grandpa's position is that he's bought a television that watches him back.

He notes that it has never once shown him at a flattering angle. Held in his lap, the tablet's view of him is mostly chin and nostril. "Forty years I kept that workshop lit like an operating room," he says, "and this thing makes me look like a fella being questioned in a basement." That's because he sits with the big window behind him, which turns any human being into a silhouette.

He's also convinced the grandkids aren't calling him so much as giving him guided tours. He's seen the inside of a sock drawer. He's seen a goldfish from closer than any man should see a goldfish. He once watched a full minute of carpet while his granddaughter Mae announced she was "doing a cartwheel."

And there's the button. The one that turns Grandpa into a cartoon potato wearing a cowboy hat. The kids found it in under ten seconds. He has looked for it for six months and can't turn it off, and he'll tell you the potato gets more laughs than he does.

He isn't wrong about that last part.

Where he has a point

The connection is the whole game. A video call needs steady Wi-Fi. If your router sits in the back bedroom and your chair is in the den, you'll freeze. A thick wall or a microwave running in the kitchen can do it too. Cellular data works, but video uses a lot of it, so check your phone plan before you make it a daily habit.

Batteries die at the worst moment. Usually right as somebody's about to show you the lost tooth. Keep the device plugged in during long calls.

A word on that cord, said plainly. A charging cable stretched across the floor to your chair is a trip hazard. Run it along the wall, or move the chair closer to the outlet.

Updates and passwords. Your old landline never asked you to update anything. A tablet will want one on Sunday afternoon right before the call. Write your Apple ID or Google password on paper and keep it somewhere safe in the house, not on a sticky note on the screen.

Everybody picks a different app. One child has FaceTime, the other swears by WhatsApp, and the in-laws are on Zoom. You end up with four apps and a headache.

The camera is a camera. Know when it's on. Many devices show a small green light. Most apps let you turn video off with one tap. A slide-over cover for the camera is inexpensive and very satisfying.

Scammers know you love those kids. The old "grandparent scam" is a call from somebody claiming to be your grandchild in trouble, needing money fast. It can come by phone, text or video. A real grandchild can wait two minutes. Hang up and call them back on the number you already have. Better yet, agree on a family code word at the next Sunday dinner. If you're unsure, the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline is free at 877-908-3360, for members and non-members, and you can report scams to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or 1-877-382-4357.

Where he is wrong

Grandpa will concede this one with his hat in his hand. He watched Mae lose her first tooth live, from 900 miles away. He was there. Sort of. Close enough that he cried a little and blamed the onions.

It's the bedtime story that won him over. Buy two copies of the same picture book, mail one to the grandkids, and read it together at bedtime. You turn the pages, they turn theirs. It's the best four minutes of a lot of people's week.

The widow down the road runs a standing Sunday call with four households in three time zones and treats it like a board meeting, which it basically is. A widower he knows eats supper "with" his son's family every Thursday, laptop at the end of the table. If you're caring for a spouse at home and can't travel, a video call brings the family to the living room. And if the only time everyone's awake is 4 a.m. your time, well, that's another column.

The freezing is mostly fixable, too:

1. Face the window, don't sit with your back to it. Light in front of you, never behind.
2. Prop the device at eye level. A stack of hardback books does it. Grandpa uses the encyclopedia set, which finally earns its shelf space.
3. Sit closer to the router, or move the router somewhere central.
4. Close the other apps and pause any big downloads.
5. If the picture freezes, turn your video off for a minute. The sound usually keeps going, and the story about Lyle survives.

The verdict

Worth it, with conditions.

If you already own a smartphone, tablet or computer from the last several years, you probably don't need to buy a thing. The apps are free. The conditions are a decent Wi-Fi signal where you actually sit, one app the whole family agrees on, and a grandchild who's been told to keep the phone pointed at their face and not the goldfish.

It's for any grandparent with family farther than a short drive, anyone who can't travel easily right now, and anyone who'd simply like to see the faces and not just hear them.

Three things to check before you spend anything:

• Which app the family already uses. Ask first. If everyone has an Apple device, FaceTime is simplest. If it's a mix, WhatsApp, Zoom or Google Meet will reach everybody.
• Your Wi-Fi in your actual chair. Make a test call to the nearest relative from the seat you'll use. If it freezes there, fix the connection before you buy a new device.
• The device itself, if you're buying. Look for a screen big enough to see faces without squinting, a stand so you're not holding it for an hour, and a camera cover or privacy shutter. If you're looking at a smart display, read its privacy settings before you plug it in. Check the current price, and compare it against simply using the tablet already in the drawer.

Grandpa still tells the carburetor story. He just checks that Theo's blinking first.