He Closed the Lid and Handed Me Back the Tongs

My husband went to the store for ice. He was gone eleven minutes.

In that window I put twelve burgers on a cold grill, pressed every one flat with the spatula like I was ironing a shirt, and started a fire tall enough that my nephew announced it to the entire yard. "THE GRILL IS ON FIRE." He's eight. He's rarely wrong about fire.

My husband came through the gate with two bags of ice, set them down, closed the lid, slid the burgers to the cool side and handed me back the tongs. Didn't say a word. Twenty minutes later everybody ate.

That's the man I married. And this is what he knows about the grill that I'm still catching up on.

The lid isn't a decoration

I treated it like the dome on a cake stand. You lift it to admire things. You lift it a lot.

What he's right about: Preheat a gas grill with the lid closed for 10 to 15 minutes before any food goes on. Cold grates grab meat and won't let go. Once the food's on, keep the lid down most of the time. Every peek dumps the heat you just waited a quarter of an hour for.

Clean the grates while they're hot

I once scrubbed our grates in the kitchen sink. It took the whole sink, the whole afternoon and most of my dignity. He does it in about ninety seconds.

What he's right about: Brush the grates right after preheating, when the old gunk has charred and flakes off easily. If you use a wire brush, look the grates over afterward for loose bristles, because a stray one can end up in somebody's burger. Toss the brush once it starts shedding. Then fold a paper towel, dip it in a high-heat oil like canola, and wipe the grates using tongs. Never your fingers.

Leave it alone

I flipped chicken so often he asked if I was trying to get it to confess.

What he's right about: Meat sticks until a crust forms, and then it lets go on its own. Give it a gentle nudge. If it fights you, wait another minute. And stop pressing burgers. That satisfying sizzle is the juice leaving the burger and landing on the flame, which is how you get a dry patty and a tall fire at the same time. Ask me how I know.

Half my grill disasters started with me walking away to check my phone, by the way. Getting your evenings back from a phone built to keep them applies to the patio too.

Keep one side cool

My theory was that every burner on high meant every burger done faster. It's the same logic as flooring it in a parking lot.

What he's right about: Set up two zones. Burners on high under one side, low or off under the other. Sear over the heat, then move things to the cool side to finish cooking through without burning outside. When you get a flare-up, move the food to the cool side and let the fire calm down. Move the food, not the fire.

The thermometer ends the argument

I used to cut chicken open to check it. By the time I was sure, it looked like it had been through surgery.

What he's right about: Buy an instant-read thermometer and push it into the thickest part, not touching bone. The USDA numbers are 165°F for chicken, 160°F for burgers and other ground beef, and 145°F for steaks, pork chops and fish (with a three-minute rest for the steaks and chops). Color lies. A burger can look brown inside before it's safe, and chicken can look pink when it's fine. The number doesn't lie.

Two plates, every time

I carried the raw burgers out on our big platter, cooked them beautifully and was about to load them back onto the same platter. He took it out of my hands like a relay baton.

What he's right about: One plate and one set of tongs for raw meat, and a clean plate for cooked food. Raw juices on a cooked plate undo everything you just did right. Same with marinade. If it touched raw meat, boil it before you brush it on at the end, or set some aside before the meat ever goes in.

Gas gets your full attention

I once started to light the grill with the lid closed. That's the whole story, because he heard the knob click from inside the house and got there first.

There's no joke in this one.

What he's right about: Always open the lid before you light it. If a burner doesn't catch, turn the burner and the tank off, leave the lid open for about five minutes so the gas clears, then try again. When you hook up a new tank, brush soapy water on the connections and open the valve. Bubbles mean a leak: shut the tank off, don't light anything, and tighten or replace the fitting. If you smell gas and can't shut it off, get everybody away from the grill and call the fire department.

Store spare tanks outside and upright, never in the house or garage. To see how much is left, check the tare weight stamped on the collar (marked "TW"), weigh the tank and subtract. A standard 20-pound tank holds about 20 pounds of propane when it's full.

Where the grill lives

I wanted it right by the back door, under the porch roof, so I wouldn't get rained on. He moved it back out to the patio and I sulked for most of a weekend.

What he's right about: Keep the grill well clear of siding, eaves, deck railings and low branches. Never run it in a garage, a tent or an enclosed porch, because it makes carbon monoxide, and you can't see it or smell it. Empty and clean the grease tray regularly, since old grease is fuel waiting for a reason. If you get a grease fire, turn off the burners and the tank and close the lid. Never use water. Keep a fire extinguisher where you can reach it from the grill.

Charcoal people: dump ashes into a metal can with a lid, away from the house. They stay hot for a lot longer than you'd think.

Let it rest

I served a steak straight off the grill and sliced it on the board in front of everyone. The cutting board flooded. The steak looked betrayed.

What he's right about: Rest steaks, chops and chicken for 5 to 10 minutes on a clean plate, loosely covered with foil. The juices settle back into the meat instead of running all over the board. It also gives you exactly enough time to bring out the corn you forgot was still in the kitchen.

What I'm learning

What gets me isn't that he knew how to fix the fire. It's that he handed the tongs back. He could've taken over, and nobody at that party would've blamed him. Instead he made it right and let me finish the job, which is a pretty good way to tell what kind of man you're dealing with. Judge him by what he does when it costs him something. For him, that day, it cost a hot spot by the grill in July so twelve people could eat.

Next cookout, he's going for ice again. I'll be fine. The lid will be closed either way.