How to dress like you've your life together (before you do)

Nobody sits a young man down and explains this, so most work it out at thirty, having spent a decade being treated as less capable than they were.

It isn't vanity and it isn't about money. It's that people make a judgement in about three seconds, and clothes are most of what they're judging on. You can decide what that judgement is.

The twelve

Everything here goes with everything else here. That's the whole design.

1. Dark, plain jeans. No rips, no fading, no logos on the pocket. Slim or straight, not skinny and not baggy.
2. Chinos in a neutral — stone, navy, or olive.
3. Three plain t-shirts. White, navy, grey. No graphics. They should hit mid-fly and the sleeve should end mid-bicep.
4. An Oxford shirt. White or light blue. Works open over a tee, works buttoned with a tie.
5. A knit. Merino crewneck or a fine-gauge jumper, in a dark neutral.
6. A plain hoodie or sweatshirt in one colour, fitting properly.
7. A jacket. Denim, a harrington, or an overshirt. Not a school coat.
8. A coat for the cold that isn't a sports jacket.
9. Clean white trainers. Not running shoes. Keep them clean — this is half the effect.
10. Leather boots or loafers, brown or black.
11. A belt matching your shoes.
12. One thing for a funeral, an interview and a wedding. A navy or charcoal suit, or at minimum a navy blazer and grey trousers. You'll need this sooner than you think and the worst time to buy it's the night before.

The five rules that matter more than the list

Fit beats everything. A £20 t-shirt that fits reads better than a £120 one that doesn't. Shoulder seam on the corner of your shoulder. Sleeve ending at your wrist bone. Trousers that skim rather than grip or sag.

Get things altered. A tailor costs very little and almost nobody your age uses one. Trouser hems and a taken-in shirt body are the two that change the most.

Plain wins. Logos, slogans and busy prints date fast, clash with everything, and are the thing that most reliably makes an outfit look cheap. Plain clothes in good colours look expensive whatever they cost.

Two or three colours, maximum. Pick a neutral base and stick to it.

Look after them. Wash cold, hang things up, brush your shoes, replace a t-shirt when the neck goes. A cheap wardrobe that's cared for beats an expensive one that isn't — and this one is entirely free.

Grooming, because it's half of it

Clean and clearly looked after: showered, hair cut every three or four weeks, nails short, teeth properly brushed and flossed, a defined beard neckline or a clean shave. Deodorant every day.

This is a very low bar and an enormous number of men your age are under it. Clearing it puts you ahead of most of the room and costs almost nothing.

Why bother

Because it changes how you're spoken to — by interviewers, by landlords, by people's parents, by the person you'd like to talk to.

That isn't shallow. It's that you're being read constantly whether you participate or not, and this is the one part of it you can simply decide.

Do it once, properly, and stop thinking about it.