Strap the load like it's planning an escape

The job

Get a stack of plywood and a ladder from the lumber yard to your driveway in an open truck bed, with every piece still on the truck when you arrive. Same job for a trailer. Same rules.

How the rookie does it

10:02. Buys a two-pack of bungee cords at the register. They were sitting right there by the gum. That has to mean they're for this.

10:15. Slides the plywood in. It sticks out past the tailgate by about four feet. Ties a gym sock to the end, because the sock is red-ish if you squint.

10:20. Hooks a bungee over the plywood and onto the thin bed rail. The cord stretches across the load like a rubber band on a piano. Looks great. Feels scientific.

10:24. His wife asks, "Shouldn't the front be tied down too?" He says it's wedged. She says okay, in the voice that means she's already right.

10:31. At forty-five miles an hour the top sheet starts to hum, then lift, then act like a wing. He slows to twenty. A minivan full of soccer players passes him and he can see them reading the sock.

10:48. Pulls into a gas station, buys a ratchet strap, and cranks it until the strap sings a note. Then he can't get it loose. Then it lets go all at once and the handle nearly takes his chin off. The twelve-foot tail has been whipping the paint the whole way.

11:10. Home. The strap is in a knot the size of a grapefruit. He cuts it with a pocketknife and turns one strap into two short ones.

His wife was right about the front. Of course she was.

How the veteran does it

Hollis has hauled loads since before the rookie was born. He doesn't hurry and he doesn't talk.

He backs the truck up and slides the plywood in flat, tight against the front of the bed, as far forward as it goes. The ladder goes on top, not under. He looks at the sheets sticking past the tailgate and decides they're short enough to be legal. He checks his state's rule first, because overhang limits and flag requirements vary.

He lays a folded towel over the sharp edge of the top sheet. He runs two ratchet straps over the stack, one near each end, and hooks them to the stake pockets, which are built to take the load. He ratchets until the strap is snug and the load doesn't move, then adds a few more clicks. He closes the ratchet all the way, gives the tail a couple of twists so it can't flap, and tucks it away.

Then he puts both hands on the stack and shoves hard. Nothing moves. Total time: about six minutes.

At mile five he pulls over and checks everything again. Loads settle. Straps loosen. That's not a failure. That's just physics.

What the veteran knows

1. A bungee cord isn't a tie-down. It stretches, it isn't rated for a load, and the hook can let go with no warning. Use it to hold a tarp corner and nothing heavier.

1. Read the working load limit. It's printed on the strap's tag, and it's the only number that counts. The big number on the box is usually break strength, and you're not planning to find out what breaks. Federal rules for commercial haulers say the total working load limit of your tie-downs should be at least half the weight of the cargo. That's a sensible floor for a pickup too.

1. Hook to rated anchor points only. That means stake pockets and tie-down cleats made for the job. Not a thin bed rail, not a bumper, not a plastic trim piece.

1. Stop the load from sliding before you worry about straps. Put it against the cab or a headache rack, heavy items low and forward. Straps clamp a load that's already sitting in the right spot.

1. Protect the strap from sharp edges. Webbing cuts easily. Use a corner protector or a folded towel. Don't use a strap that's cut, frayed or sun-rotted, and don't tie knots in one. A knot weakens it where you can't see.

1. Release a ratchet strap with care. Tension stores energy. Hold the handle in your hand, squeeze the release lever and open it in a controlled way. Keep your face out of the swing path. No joke here, just do it.

1. Check after the first few miles, then at every stop. Straps loosen as the load settles. Make a habit of a walk-around every time you stop.

1. Don't over-crank. Snug and a few clicks is enough. Crushing a ladder rail or a pallet with a strap only means you'll fix it later.

Your first time, done like a veteran

• Weigh or estimate the load. Pick straps whose combined working load limit is well above half of it.
• Load heavy and forward, and make sure nothing can slide.
• Inspect each strap for cuts, fraying and sun damage. Throw out any that fail.
• Hook to rated anchor points and pad any sharp edges.
• Tighten until snug, add a few clicks, close the ratchet fully and twist the tail.
• Shove the load with both hands. If it shifts, it isn't tied.
• Check your state's overhang and flag rules. Make sure your lights and plate are visible.
• Drive a few miles, then stop and re-check.

If you want a rope option for the tail or an odd shape, six knots, and the order to learn them in is a good place to start. And if you leave the hazard lights on during a long loading session and the truck won't start afterward, here's how to jump-start a car without wrecking the electronics.

Thank your wife for the front-strap reminder. Next time, tie it down before she asks.